Internet Dating Sites For Over-50 Singles – Friend or Foe?
In Part 1 of our blog, Dating Site for 50+ Single Women, we explored the fast growing phenomenon of internet dating for seniors. Dr. Gail Saltz, author, tv commentator, psychiatrist and relationship expert for the online dating site OurTime.com, continues with some valuable suggestions on how to move forward with the internet dating scene for baby boomers and seniors successfully and safely!
What are men and women in midlife looking for in a new relationship?
OurTime.com did survey prior to the launch of the website to ask this group of single adults what they really want. They found that over-50’s are happier than the same cohort in their 20-30-40’s. Why? A number of stresses are out of picture – yes, notably the kids! There is no longer the urgent need to micromanage a household, a job and the family budget. Additionally, boomers aren’t evaluating someone as a potential parent of their children-to-be, nor are they looking for financial support or someone who can support them in their career.
So…what are they looking for?
- Women over 50 who are getting back into dating are looking for partnership, fun, and companionship. They want to find someone to spend time with and enjoy being with, but don’t necessarily want or need to get married. At this time in their lives, the legalities of a long-term relationship are less important.
- Senior singles are looking for people similar to themselves…not so much a fiery “opposites attract” scenario. They realize that it’s easier to make a relationship work with someone who shares similar values and interests.
- Even though online dating for seniors is a relatively new trend, this remains a traditionally rooted group. Ourtime.com discovered is that 94% of women want men to ask first – even in the online dating world! (But women should know that men do indeed like to be asked!)
What suggestions do you have for seniors considering online dating for the first time?
Anxiety for anyone reentering the scene over 50. Person is unknown, haven’t dated in years, don’t know what the new rules are, pressure re: when should you have sex? Someone being romantic with you, seeing your body again, you have your own baggage. Potentially anxiety production, but there’s a recognition that it’s midlife and lots of years ahead to enjoy yourself, lots of years to enjoy yourself, free of many of the expectations you had before.
Joining a senior dating site like OurTime.com is a great way to meet new people at your pace and on your terms. For a newcomer, there are a few tips that will help to make your experience more fun and give you more opportunities to meet the right person! Here are a few tips as you begin:
- Being too rigid in your requirements may cause you to screen out some people that might be a great match. Height, weight, hair color, eye color…those things can eliminate a pool of promising possibilities! Try to be more open in your profile and less stringent.
- Be more specific when describing what you like! You ‘love to laugh’, but what does that mean? Are you a stand-up comedy club aficionado? Do you love the Sunday comics, or going to parties with friends?
- Provide pictures of yourself doing things you like to do. Images can help to create a specific picture of who you are and how someone would fit into your life. The individuals who provide this type of information tend to get the most interest.
Online Dating Safety for Baby Boomer Women
Baby boomers – particularly those newly single – may not be used to current issues about safety. You can never screen someone completely, but there are a few things you can do to ensure your safety and comfort:
- Make your first number of dates public
- Bring yourself to the date and home
- Hang on to or mind the whereabouts of your bag and drink at all times
- Get the full name of your date, and Google them
- Tell someone who you are going with and where
- Just like in the ‘real world’, if you feel uncomfortable, listen to your gut.
Scammers may also try to get financial info – don’t give out personal information, any more than you would if you met someone in a bar or the supermarket. Common sense rules here!
Online dating sites offer many positives for women in midlife to consider. You can sit in the privacy of your own home and go as slowly as you like to explore how to move forward. Reputable and trustworthy internet dating sites enables you to connect to people, get back out there and have some fun, and maybe start a great new relationship!